Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Allwell Victoria

My name is Beatrice. I have been a wife for twelve years now and a proud mother of three beautiful children, two boys and a girl, for eleven years. I have the most amazing hubby ever and would love to spread the gospel to singles out there that marriage can be most blissful if both parties are willing to make it a happy ride all the way. My husband; Matthew and I dated for a year before getting married and of course my friends and some family members felt it was a rushed marriage since we were yet to completely know each other, as our one year courtship was a distant relationship. I was staying at Abuja, while he was in Lagos. However, I visited him occasionally and cared less what people thought about our one year distant relationship. As far as we were concerned, it was time to become a couple and no asunder would come in between our decision to be joined together.

In no time we got married, and started a new chapter of life in marriage. We lived with so much love for each other, but were still yet to completely understand each other. One of my weaknesses was my bad mouth; I was ever fast to challenge or argue with anyone, including my husband. The result was several beatings from Matthew, as he was quick to pick offence, each time I challenged him.

The first time he hit me, I ran to my aunt’s place, but eventually returned to him. Of course, I got more beatings over time. The funny thing is; each beating had plenteous apologies from Matthew attached to it, afterwards. “Baby, you know how much it hurts me that you are mouthy and highly hot tempered and I know I am no different. Please, forgive me, I beg you.”  He would say.
After a year of being married, I decided to work on myself, I stopped talking too much and challenging him. I prayed more often, asking God to help me with my temper. I soon found myself making him feel more superior to me. A magic I never dreamed or imagined would happen, did. We stopped fighting, and then I got pregnant and birthed twin boys.

As soon as I gave birth, I became so engrossed in taking care of my children that I forgot to give my hubby the attention he deserved.

Five months into motherhood, I went through my husband’s phone and for the first time got the shock of my life; “my husband was cheating on me? Oh my God! I went numb and read through his BBM chats with the girl and saw how she seduced my husband with flirtatious words, his initial resistance and eventual fall into her tricks. I went mad within and without, I was grieved in my heart, but pulled myself into a calm mood about it all. I kept silent about it, because mentioning it would bring me to insult his life and entire generation, so I played ignorant of his affair with the bitch lover girl.

The next day, I took it upon me to recover my usual 60kg weight and burn every baby fat I had with exercise. I started by jogging with my neighbors daily. I did this every day for 6months before recovering my 60kg weight again.

One night, my husband came to me and confessed his flirty affair with the BBM girl, showed me their chats and his quit from it all. The chat showed the girl’s plead that they continue and never end what they share. “But, of course, why won’t she beg? My husband is well endowed and gifted.” (Chuckles)

He apologized with tears in his eyes; I heartily forgave him, telling him I shared a part in it all, as I had given him little or no attention after the birth of the twins.

He got me my dream car out of guilt, to make up with me. I was glad about the car, but I made him realize he had been forgiven from my heart. We started a new relationship, the kind dates had; hang outs, movies, clubbing, strolling with our hands together. We exposed ourselves to all the fun that can ever be. I never withdrew my attention towards him. Even after giving birth to our baby girl, I ensured I stayed fit as ever with exercise and stood my grounds as a mother, wife, lover, mistress, friend and sister. Hmm!

One would think it was rosy all the way, but then, we still had little arguments here and then. Once, I made the mistake of reporting one of our arguments to a male friend of mine. Little did I know that I was exposing petrol to fire. I got so used to this male friend of mine that each time my husband got me angry, I would drive to the guy’s house. One day, I was so crossed with my husband after a red-hot argument and as usual drove to the guy’s house to share my pain with him. I had much tears in my eyes that he held me in comfort, dried my tears, consoled me and soon began to caress me. When my eyes met his, he kissed me. Next thing I knew, I was kissing him too, until I realized he wasn’t my husband and cannot be exposed to adulterous acts. In haste, I pushed him away, slapped him, picked my bag and rushed out, leaving him staring in shock with his hands holding his cheek.

I went back to my hubby in tears, knelt before him and reported my nuisance to him; I pleaded with remorse and promised never to repeat such ever again. His response shocked me; “Don’t worry, honey. I have forgiven you.” he hugged me and we held on to each other for long. I felt so much peace at that hour and could tell he was at peace as well.

We have ever since lived in peace by God’s grace, handling maturely the differences that arise between us from time to time.

Now, I know the essence of prayers and God in every marriage that desires a peaceful, blissful and beautiful home amidst challenges. I am forever grateful to God for restoring peace and unity in my home.

And here is my advice to couples; respect each other, and keep a third party at an immeasurable distance, love your partner and listen to one another.

Share your comments, questions or lesson learnt in this story. We would love to hear from you.



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