A financially unstable marriage is a marriage that would soon be filled with fights, quarrels and all manner of vices, if both parties don’t handle the situation properly. One thing that can quickly disrupt the financial stability of a couple, soon after the wedding, is their standard of living. With all the economic recession message being preached in our world today, we are made to understand that nowadays we have to cut our coat according to the length of our material; not according our size.
The first mistake many couples make is to spend all their life savings on a high society wedding or to borrow to do such weddings. Debt is one financial worm that can never make you have enough, no matter how hard you try. When a woman craves desperately for class and style to the detriment of her family finances, she can end up accumulating debts for herself and her family. So also, if a man desperately wants to belong to a certain class of society and desires to live above his means, he would never accumulate wealth. You can’t spend all you earn every month without savings and you can’t buy clothes, gold and cars on credit and expect to be rich. Rather, you will work all year round trying to pay off your bills. Every home needs peace of mind, comfort and joy. And that is something that would be very hard to find in a home where there is no financial discipline and coordination.
Another issue that ‘raises a lot of dust’ in families is when one or both spouses work very hard to earn money, and one of the spouse decides to squander all/most of the money on frivolities. This could cause a lot of unrest in a home because the ‘squandering’ spouse might insist that what they are doing is very important to them while the ‘complaining’ spouse may not find it funny at all. This is where financial cooperation in a home comes in. If both parties agree on what the family money should be spent on, this issue could be easily resolved. Until you have saved a part of your income, invested another part and met basic family needs, you have no reason to spend money on things that can wait till a later time. Some things that are not even helpful to your health and your general well-being, should be carefully erased from your spending list.
One very controversial issue is the issue of a woman earning more than her man. Some men don’t mind their wives earning more than they do; actually, they see it as an advantage to the home. Others have serious ego issues when their wives earn more that they do. Well, for every man that desires to gain psychological control of his home, the mindset that your wife and whatever she earns or whatever achievement she gets is yours, should be a driving force when addressing such issues in your home. You should not be jealous of your wife’s financial achievements, you should be proud and supportive.
Sometimes, some women are the cause of their husband’s reactions towards their salary scale. Every woman is meant to include finance in her ‘submission’ list. Whether you earn more or less than your husband, as long as he is a financially responsible fellow that puts his family needs above ANYTHING else, you are obligated to be humble and let your husband have some control over what you earn. Some men don’t even touch their wives salary but at least they are fully aware of what the woman earns and how she earns it. And the woman doesn’t have to claim position as the head of the family just because she earns more. Family politics is a one way traffic. There is no impeachment or change of government. Everything is at status-quo and should remain so, if things would function properly in the family setting.
Financial issues in marriage is almost an inexhaustible topic. Watch out for more on this series!