My growing up as a child witnessed both hell and heaven. Three months after my birth, I ate from the unbeatable pot of doom: mummy joined the saints in heaven. I believe she’s in heaven, but I wonder if she prays for me, her daughter. The wind of life has blown off the little stool I’ve for long sat. My dad took care of me; he made sure I got all I wanted as a child. Daddy made me believe that life was like a harmless moon that smiles down at night, even though the vague imagination of what mum looked like haunt me: wish I knew her before she embraced death.
Daddy always told me I’m a carbon copy of my mum. He said mum was the most beautiful woman on earth, externally and internally. He called me one night and said to me, ”your mother was a virtuous woman, she was more than all I ever wanted in a woman,” he sighed and looked at me in the eyes, “I married your mother still a virgin. She was a virgin when I married her, her memory still blows a trumpet in my head” he said and held my hand, “whenever I see you, I see the picture of my late wife, you must take after your mother, keep your body till you are legally and properly married, and God will bless you. Juliet, promise me that.” He added.
“I promise,” I said.
The next morning, at about 10 a.m., I was in the sitting-room when my aunty and her friend came in with faces painted in sorrow colour. All wasn’t well. I knew something was wrong. They were speechless for a while, and then tears started dropping down her cheeks.
”Aunty, what happened? Why are you crying?” I inquired.
“Juliet, your father just had an accident. My brother is dead” She said, weeping.
I wept bitterly! Why was God this cruel to me? Perhaps daddy knew he was going to die. My happiness was gone! This time I was only fourteen. My father’s properties were sold, and the money he had in his account was taken and squandered by my uncles. My aunty took me to her home in Benin to live with her. She treated me well. One cool evening, now I was eighteen, she took me to a place, one building. On the entrance to the building, stood some ladies, some leaning against the wall, with their boobs packed to the neck, well exposed to feed the eyes. They wore shorts that exposed their tummy and the hotness of their thighs. We got in, I saw men drinking alcohol and smoking, with many of such girls in, half-naked. It was a brothel. My aunty left me, only for her to come back dressed in wears that exposed her body, chewing a gum in a mouth. She was pretty with big boobs to match. She walked towards me and took me in to a small room and gave me some pieces of wears to put on. She said to me, ”that will make you look sexy”
“For what?” I asked.
”See, Juliet, this is what I do to put food on our table. You have sex with these men they give you money, that’s how I get money to pay the bills.” She said and left me alone in the room. I threw the clothes she gave me away and tried to sneak out, but she caught me. ”Juliet where are you going to?” she asked me angrily.
”I’m sorry, aunty, I can’t do this!” I said, and ran away before she could get to where I stood. The next morning, she came home and met me lying on the bed. She was more than thirty-five, but still single. She drove me out of her house, and I had nowhere to go. So I started sleeping inside the church, until one day the pastor found me and took me to his house after narrating my story to him. The pastor’s wife took me and treated me like her own daughter. I had a room to myself in the house. One midnight, I was sleeping when I felt a creature around me, touching me. It’s like I was in some trance. My eyes opened. It was the pastor removing my nightwear, caressing my body. I jumped up.
”Come on, you’re not a baby, let’s do it, you’ll enjoy it” The pastor said.
‘‘Please sir, don’t do this to me, I beg you in the name of God,” pleaded. He tried to rape me, but I resisted and threatened to shout. For the fear that his wife may hear my shout, he left me and went away. The next morning, the pastor called me before his wife and accused me of witchcraft. He asked me to leave the house. All effort by his wife to make sure I stayed yielded no positive response from him. He told his wife that the Lord asked him to send me away.
Now I’m at the middle of nowhere, nowhere to go. My promise to daddy; how long will it last? Do I go back to my aunty and accept what she asked me to do? I’m at the verge of losing my virginity.