The Marriage Councelor: How to Avoid Boring Conversation With Your Partner

Elizabeth Nnaji

In my 15 years in marriage, I have observed that a sweet, good, and fun-filled conversation gladdens the hearts of both partners. I’m a witness to this. No one likes a boring conversation.

Some friends have complained to me over and over again how minutes spent talking with their spouse can be boring. They pray their partner don’t start a conversation; they just can’t stand boring conversations. These set of complainants would rather spend good time, even hours talking or chatting with someone else, usually the opposite sex.

When I ask them what makes their partner’s talks a boring one, I usually hear the following;

‘He/she talks too much, and there is no life in his/her words.’

‘She/he says one thing over and over again.’

‘We just don’t have same line of thoughts.’

‘He/she just want you to do the listening while he/she talks like a parrot all through.’

‘He/she lacks sense of humour and picks offence at little jokes.’

‘All he/she is interested in is who I’m with, or who I was with; too jealous for liking.’

If you’re having issue like this in your marriage, which of the above do you face at home with your spouse?

First of all, let me say this, that it’s always better we know or we can connect with our future partner body and soul before we rush to tie the knot. So, if you’re still single, ensure you avoid issues like this. It can cause lots of damage in the home.

Couples should enjoy conversations together, it is healthy for the union. Marriage is a union, and not a separation of minds where one starts to feel lonely.

Here are ways you can avoid boring conversation, and enjoy a good communication with your spouse.

  1. Be Lively: A lively spouse attracts the partner into exciting conversations. Strive to be cheerful, and stop acting as if the whole problem in this world are on your shoulders.
  2. Be Smart: Educate yourself regularly and ensure your mind is constantly being renewed. This helps you when having a conversation with a smart partner. You need to upgrade to his/her level of intelligence; get smart. Two smart heads can never have a boring conversation.
  3. Have a good memory: Having a good memory, helps you to avoid repetition during a conversation. When something is said over and over again, it gets the listener bored. Repetitive words brings about boring conversation.
  4. Give your partner a chance to talk: Always keep in mind that you’re not a radio to be listened to all through. It is a conversation, not a sermon. For there to be a conversation, there has to be at least two people involved. When doing that parrotic blabbing, please halt for a moment and listen to your partner.
  5. Be observant: When having a conversation with your spouse, ensure you observe his/countenance. That can tell you if your spouse is enjoying your talks or not. If the countenance is not appealing, you really would have to change the gear to your talks in order to avoid a further boring conversation.

6 Sense of Humour: Sense of humour gives life to a conversation. It is a bonding propellant when both partners are in same tune. If by nature you don’t have a sense of humour, see to it that you understand your partner that has it, and stop picking offences at nothing. Do not be too serious with everything; take life easy dear.

  1. Avoid jealous talks: When you pick up your phone to call your spouse, are you busy asking him/her who he/she is with, and who is talking at the background? When he/she comes home, do you ask him/her who he/she was with today? Do you spend your time probing your spouse for a possible cheating? If you do, please stop it today. It’s unhealthy for your home and conversation. Let the choice of your words be the type that shows concern and love for your partner. This contributes to good communication and helps avoid boring conversation.

On this note, we draw the cotton on Good Communication in Marriage. Next, we shall be discussing a different topic, same here on Cosmic Ray Magazine.  Have a happy Valentine’s Day and a beautiful marriage.

For questions and issues that bothers you in your marriage which you like us to discuss here, please email me or drop a comment here.



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