I’m Not Barren, My Children Just Haven’t Arrived Yet

What’s it about being barren? Can a woman be barren? A host of people would say yes, but my gut says NO! I think being barren is a mind-set, not really true of God’s creature. More than a decade ago, when I sat closely to some elders in my village, Egori-Inland, who gathered around few bottles of Eagle Aromatic Shnap and Whiskeys that erectly stood on a wooden table, while they conversed on village issues, a statement was made by a little tipsy elder that exposed my young teeth to the breeze and smell of alcohol that took over the village’s natural air.

That statement, yesterday, twinkled harshly in my memory, and I realised it wasn’t meant solely for humour, but a necessary truth which we all sometimes wish it exists. These were his exact words: “These ears have no cover, if they had, I would have gladly covered them against foolish comments like these.”

Isn’t it rather awful how people view this deep well of life overwhelmed with mysteries, using a half closed eye, with the flashy illusions of ‘I know it all’ glistening on their faces? Isn’t it funny how people tend to predict the future of others with the present difficulties that put them in the public mocking mirror?

While these two ladies chitchatted behind me, I could not but wished for covers to my ears whose holes appeared to have been broadly enlarged, given the rate at which thoughtless words from thoughtless minds, went into them. They never seemed to care if public ears were eavesdropping, and if eyes disdainfully gawked at their presence.

‘What kind of village girls are these two, and what brought them here?’ I thought. But this counter thought; ‘Skyfoxx, remember you’re a typical village boy too’, wiped out the former.

“The first night alone, I’ll get pregnant.” One of them said. Their laughter was one hell of a noise in the cool and serene environment. She continued; “I’m not a barren woman like your madam.” That was the bombshell she dropped that struck me and had my head turned and looked at them. By their looks and the empty third fingers of their left hands, begging for a wedding ring, when I stared closely at them, they were single ladies who probably roll from one end of the bed to another, staring through the ceiling at night and hoping a man drops from the ceilings to sleep beside them to feel the men’s masculine warmth. She opens her mouth to call a married lady barren.

I turned to my friend who sat beside me, coincidentally he’d been listening too, (We’re birds of the same feather, right?) because his mouth was agape.

“Did you hear that?” He asked me.

With the level of bitterness I felt within by those callous words, tears probably would have dropped down my cheeks if I personally knew this ‘madam’ who is being mocked even at public places because she’s yet to get pregnant. I imagined what this ‘madam’ must have been, and going through: the pressure from her in-laws, and her parents who want to see grandchildren and the pains she personally feels when she sees her mates with children. I imagine she could be having the thoughts that she’s barren just because people think she is barren.

Then I asked myself; “what gives this lady the impression that her first night with her ‘yet to be found husband’ on her wedding day, will get her pregnant?”

Trust me, dear reader, I found no better answer than this: ‘she’s gotten pregnant several times for several men she’s slept with, and aborted the babies successfully. She now believes that getting herself pregnant and producing babies, is as simple as the hand taking food to the mouth without missing direction. So she now considers a sexually active woman who is yet to take in, a barren. How shallow minded do fools always examine issues?

Well, I pray she gets married and have her dream of pregnancy come true. But I do know there’s a negative reward that often awaits people who spite and mock those who seem to swim in sorrows.

And to those who are desperately looking for a child to call theirs, I say, please hold on to God, and He’ll not fail you. Children are gifts from God. Talk to Him. He is the best listener. He says; “if you ask anything in my name, I’ll do it”-(John 14:14)

 It doesn’t matter if your inability to conceive and bear a child is as a result of mistakes you have made in the past. He’s faithful and merciful. He says; “Whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you will receive them, and you will have them. And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses” – (Mark 11:24-25)

Never you give up hope and faith, He assures you that; “with men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” – (Mark 10:27)

Are you a married woman? Do people make mockery of you and call you barren? The good news is that God has not called you barren. Say to yourself, “I’m not barren, my kids just haven’t come yet, but they are on their way coming.” Be cheerful, joyous, and enjoy your marriage, knowing that your God will never forget you. Your own children are coming.